Whoa. We’re six months into this parenting two kids gig, suddenly. My second child’s babyhood is slipping through my fingers with frightening speed. It’s heartbreaking how little time I’ve been able to bask in it, really. I feel so lucky to have been able to experience it at all, again, but how I wish I could have pushed the pause button for a while to just enjoy.
Kate is a beautiful, spunky, sassy, happy, smiley, mobile little girl. She is very much like her big brother and very different at the same time. Her smile is infectious and her laugh…man. She is happiness. She is big like he was, already over 20 pounds and in 12 month clothes or 12-18 month depending on the brand. She’s focused on crawling with great persistence, rocking on all fours and pushing herself forward faster each and every day. She’s different than Leopold too, very into solid foods already and seemingly cutting back on our nursing sessions already. She’s much too social and distracted during the day to eat much. There were a few weeks that she wouldn’t nurse AT ALL during the day and I was terrified for my supply (not to mention in pain from engorgement), but we’re back to 2-3 sessions during the day thankfully. She’s sleeping fairly well most nights, 1-2 wakeups and easy to put to bed.
Leopold is less than a month from three. He’s becoming such a KID lately, gone is the baby fat of toddler hood, replaced by a long and lean kid with a muscular and broad build and an intense vocabulary. I’m proud of him and challenged by him every single every day. His needs, curiosity, imagination, and energy are endless. Over are his naps, but he sleeps a solid 11 hour chunk nearly every night. If he does nap, he is impossible to put to bed before 10 pm and only sleeps about 9 hours a night. He eats nearly everything if he just stops moving long enough to focus on it. He has a sudden adoration for superheroes of all kinds and would wear nothing but super hero clothing at all times if I let him. I listen to multiple imaginative stories he’s dreamed up daily from his perch in his car seat, in which he tells me of his explorations on his “flying boots” “scooter” or other stories as he vigorously shakes his hand at his side, a gesture that just kills me with its cuteness though I have yet to document it on video. He is completely potty trained during the day though still needs an overnight diaper. He can recite our nightly prayer at dinnertime with ease, now sings along with us during bedtime songs – both things that make my heart absolutely burst. Nearly every statement I make is met with at least three “WHYs” (though he used to ask “what because” which was quite charming). He is still going to preschool and he absolutely loves it. He challenges me with temper tantrums, requests that are impossible to meet, and by the fact that he never. stops. moving. EVER. Unless Daniel Tiger is on, whom I have to thank for my loose grasp on sanity. That and a Pale Ale as I cook dinner every night 🙂
I. Well. I am here. I am the woman behind the children, the one who cooks the dinners, grocery shops, wipes the bottoms, does the laundry and keeps the house from becoming too filthy. The one who shrugs my shoulders at the comments from strangers “You really have your hands full!”. It seems so easy to lose yourself as a Mom in the relentless monotony of everyday chores. I am keeping afloat, but feel that I am simply treading water, lost in the humdrum of it all and the lack of identity as just me. I am pondering long term goals as always, re-entering the workforce at some point in some capacity, a new house, another baby at some point (there is still the one frosty). My answer to all of these questions when I have a moment to breathe (like now, when Leopold and Carlos are out fishing and my baby is napping peacefully in her crib) are “Not yet” which is, you know, not very interesting. I wish I had a five year plan in mind, but I don’t yet.
I’m focusing right now on feeling good in my skin, getting back into running, and trying to read and write more. Just wanted to write something to say hello, I’m still here, and I hope I have more to post soon.