Fall is here

In our part of the world, fall has arrived. There was a distinct temperature shift a couple of weeks back (a 30 degree F drop in temp highs actually), pumpkin spice lattes are back, the apple orchards are calling, and that crisp difference in the air is there…ahh, yes, fall is here.

This change in seasons feels so dramatic and anticipatory this year. This is when shit gets really for lady baby’s arrival. This is when the months of waiting turn into weeks, then melt away until days are left. This is when all the preparations for this birth come to fruition in however they are supposed to. All the time and money spent on a doula, on acupuncture, time spent on searching for a new doctor, the switch to a new hospital, etc. The end is near and I just hope that the experience is a positive one and I’ll feel all my efforts were worthwhile. ย At the end of the day, I try to keep focus on that I am giving myself and this baby the best shot I could possibly give vaginal birth and if that’s not meant to be, that’s okay. I just want peace about how it all unfolded and to know I gave it a great shot.

Beyond the whole VBAC or repeat c-section question going on in my mind, there’s also the if I go into labor, when will it start?! Everyone loves to tell me tales that they went at 37w3d or 38w etc, etc. the truth is, I think I’ll be pregnant past my due date of October 13th. I also think this baby will be well over 8 pounds if not another niner like her big bro. I’m not scared of either of these things, instead I am trying to accept and be zen. This baby will be born when she’s ready to, and I need to be patient waiting for her arrival. It will all work out and be fine and I need to roll with it. I can.

But some days? I wake up after a terrible night of sleep, absolutely exhausted and just want to have the baby already. When I try to find clothes that fit over my enormous 37 week bump and every morning it’s a struggle to find something that fits (there are very few options right now and I refuse to buy anything new…). I am also insanely emotional lately. Anything will make me cry. I feel myself start to panic, think negatively…I cannot do this for another month. Is the baby okay in there?

I constantly have to take a step back and refocus. Have patience. Take a walk. Keep busy. Listen to hypnobabies meditations. Trust that this baby is doing great in there (doc says she is!) and that she WILL come out when the time is right. Close myself off to everyone else’s opinions about labor and birth and just stay in my little world. My Mom’s group is particularly dangerous right now as many are pregnant and almost everyone is going to be induced or were induced…and it’s all coming to a head for many (one is due the day before me). My doctor has been great so far – I tried to ask at my last appointment about what happens if I don’t go into labor before 42 weeks and he shut me down. His response was perfect: “don’t be negative. We will talk about our options if we get there. Just focus on staying healthy, you are doing great.”

I’m on a pendulum of zen to panic and fighting to get back again. I’m so glad I have a great support system around me – my husband, doula, and doctor are all fantastic and I trust them all to be supportive in the coming weeks and whatever lies ahead.

One day at a time. While I wait, I am going to acupuncture weekly to get my body ready for labor and I’m toying with the idea of seeing a massage therapist as well. I just need to find one close by who isn’t too expensive.

I can’t believe we’re so close to meeting our second child.




11 thoughts on “Fall is here

  1. Eeek!! It’s so exciting to think about how close you are to holding her in your arms! My Mom had 5 kids — my sis was the smallest at 8#8oz (4th child) largest was 10#9.5oz (5th child). I think you’re spot on to not be worry about size at all. You’ll get her out. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m so happy that you have such a great support system around you going into this next great adventure!

  2. She will definitely be here before you know it, but in her own time. I don’t think you can help but go back and forth with your emotions – things are about to drastically change! My only added advice is to take as much time as you can to focus on that sweet boy of yours before little girl gets here. I do sometimes miss the days when C was the only one pleading for my attention, and I could give it to her all day long. And yes, a great support system goes a long way in keeping a positive attitude in my opinion!

  3. Oh hon….it’s getting really real up in here isn’t it? I love that your OB is staying so positive and keeping you focused on where you are right now. I’m starting to panic myself, the bit of contracting and threat of pre-term labor freaked me out but now I’m sure I’ll go to my due date for sure. And I’ll be an induction again. Who knows what will happen after that because of my age and GD, they won’t let me go beyond then. I so hope all your hard work in keeping ZEN will give you the peace you need for a happy healthy birth experience and most of all your happy healthy little girl. I still think it’d be funny if we were in the hospital at the same time tho ๐Ÿ™‚

    The best thing about this post is your fabulous support system and how well they are working together to keep you on the positive side of ZEN! So excited for you and I can’t wait to see how things go!

  4. So close! I bet you go early or around your due date. Your body hasn’t failed you yet, and it isn’t going to! I am excited for you! Having a new baby is such a thrill! I love those first few days getting to know one another!

  5. I’m am SO with you oscillating between panic and acceptance. One moment I’m okay with him coming whenever he’s ready. The next moment I’m making an acupuncture appointment for 37 weeks (not adjusted) when I plan on asking them to do whatever than can to get things rolling. I also have few clothes to wear and am alternately panicked about baby’s health and what might happen in these final weeks and feeling very positive that all will be okay. The last month is hard; but we will get through it. Some how, some way, we will.

    Best of luck to you during these hard final weeks! You’re so close!

  6. One day at a time is right! You don’t have to do this for another month. Just for one more day. Then, one more day after that. Deep breaths. This thing feels interminable but as you know, it’s so temporary.

  7. I am so excited and happy for you! But, oh! I remember having such a hard time in my 3rd trimester with #2 and wanted it over with. I found that toward the end, I was doing the affirmations track 3-4 times a day, even saying them aloud. I think you are doing AMAZING things to be ready (kicking my butt at being active, that’s for sure!) and I wish you so much peace. XOXO

  8. Lady baby is going to be here sooon!! I remember when 37 weeks hit, I was READY. I basically had in my mind that it ends right around there, so yah, those next few weeks felt like months. I hope and belief and your little gal will be here very soon. So glad you have such a great doc (and rest of the team) working with you and supporting you. Can’t wait to meet that little one through photos, posts, and tweets so very very soon. ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. I’ve been talking lately to a lot of friends about having children – people in varying stages, some thinking about their first, some already with two… it’s interesting that so many people say the change from 0 to 1 is so much bigger than the change from 1 to 2. that’s hard for me to imagine because right now that change to 2 seems like it’s going to be pretty world-rocking, you know?

    Anyway, I hope Lady Baby makes her debut soon!!!

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