I had my 9w4d appointment with OB today. All is well. We got a peek at our little Stanley and he or she has grown and developed a ton over the past two weeks. Heart was pumping away at 175 bpm.
It was just so amazingly surreal, watching this teeny tiny baby flip and flail around on the screen. With actual arms and legs and belly and a head. I am in shock that all is ok. That we’re at nearly 10 weeks and all is okay so far. It’s just incredible.
I chatted with my OB about my chance at VBAC. She said she wouldn’t stop labor, but since I’ve had a c-section she can’t induce me and won’t let me go past my due date due to my hypothyroidism. So basically, I have to go into labor on my own between 37-39 weeks or it will be a c-section. And…I was maaaaybe a fingertip dilated at 39 weeks with a nine plus pound baby. I don’t think my chances are all that good. My sister was induced at 42 weeks…the women in my family just don’t seem to go into labor on their own.
This is exactly what I expected her to say. I have a few recommendations on some other doctors, but I don’t know that their approach would be much different given my history. I will be going to acupuncture to try to get things going on an induction front this time around, but I have no idea how much that will help.
I have a hard time focusing on the VBAC thing. Yes, if I had my way it’s what I want. But given the way things went last time, it all feels so out of my hands and my odds are even worse than last time. I don’t have faith in my body to go into labor on its own and I don’t want to do this massive search for a different doctor, drive to them (the ones I’ve been recommended are 50 min away) only to end up with another c-section.
anyway. I don’t know. I need to make peace with the fact that I’ll likely have a repeat c and be amazed if my body goes into labor. That’s the position I’m in and I’m ok with that. Ok, I’m more than ok with that. Because I’m so lucky to be here at all.
Next appointment is April 3rd. Man, that’s a long time to wait. Anyone have a doppler they would like to let an anxious IFer borrow? 😉